Last night was REALLY good!
I was led intuitively to spend the night of the full moon reflecting on memories of my past, and it turned into a very peaceful meditation.
I have about 10 or so crystals right now, so I laid them all out in front of me, and held each of them one at a time, asking them to bring up any memories they want to show me.
As I relaxed into meditation, tons of old memories just started popping up, and it was sort of felt like I was watching a movie of my childhood.
What’s interesting though, is that for several of us, “childhood memories” is a bit of a touchy subject because we have so many shadows, and have experienced so much trauma it’s not something we’d think of as a fun thing to process. It’s usually pushed into the category of “shadow work”, as if it’s something painful we need to heal and get rid of.
Even though I do feel that way sometimes, during this moment all the memories that came up didn’t have that bitter feeling attached to it. Even some of the “bad” memories, can now be seen just like watching a movie, where it’s just an experience that doesn’t hold any attachment of good or bad, and I can actually laugh at some of the things that were really painful while I was going through it.
There were even certain moments throughout this process where I was enjoying the memory so much I wanted to keep watching it forever, but the crystals kept telling me to move on to the next one, haha.
I’ve heard this is something many indigenous culture do during a full moon. They spend this time reflecting on memories they’ve had throughout this cycle, and they turn it into a ceremony of honoring the past, and letting go of what no longer serves them.
This was such an enjoyable process for me that now I’m REALLY eager to do this every time there’s a full moon! It’s really powerful to spend some time just processing your old memories. This doesn’t even have to be done like “shadow work” though. All you literally have to do is think about, and watch your memories, like a movie playing in your mind.
After doing this process I feel like now I have a greater sense of honoring the past, and reflecting on where I’ve been.
It seems like all throughout my life, and especially during the past few years as I’ve been progressing more in spirituality, I’ve become much more deeply focused on progressing, and always moving forward. I spend so much time trying to achieve something, or unlock the new upgrade, or integrate more shadows, that I never stop and appreciate who I am because of where I’m been. Taking a moment to honor the past could be considered in itself an important step in moving forward.
One thing I learned during this process, that actually took me by surprise, is that there actually isn’t a “present moment”.
Haha, this pretty much goes against everything that every spiritual teacher has ever taught, because most people will say there is NOTHING except for the present moment, but what I learned intuitively here is exactly the opposite.
In that case, I’ll go ahead and say this is one of those “contradictory compliments”, similar to the concept that “expansion” and “stillness” are two sides of the same coin.
The reason there is no present moment is because when you think about it, all you have is the past (what you’ve done) and the future (what you’re going to do). We spend every moment of our life doing something because of these two. The “present moment” is a state of void.
It’s where you are now, but it’s always based on where you’ve been, and where you’re going.
So as I was feeling this, I was led intuitively to say:
Thank you for what I’ve done
Thank you for what I’m going to do
Thank you for who I AM.
What you’ve done, and what you’re going to do, pretty much define your unique identity, but coming into the present moment where there is no longer attachment to either, is actually a space of complete void.